A FIELD GUIDE TO GEEZERS
by Rae Ellen Lee

Excerpt from the Humor Book:
A FIELD GUIDE TO GEEZERS
By Rae Ellen Lee

FIELD NOTES

Common Name: White-Rumped Geezer

Scientific Name: Geezerus buns-R-us

Description: Heavier-bodied than other species, he actually has buns and wears his waist band low so that when he squats to change a tire, sort through a box of hats at a yard sale, or sit on a bar stool he will flash you a vertical smile. When you leave the scene, you will not remember what kind of clothes he was wearing.

Habitat/Range: The range of this endearing group is wide. You will catch sight of bare hinders across North America, both inland and on or near water, especially around boats and old cars that need fixing.

Song: “Blue Moon” as performed by The Marcels.

whiterumpComments: Members of this species could benefit from the Boating Geezer’s all-purpose solution to problems, what they use instead of duct tape: Capt’n Tolly’s Crack Cure.

In a genus that exhibits a high rate of obliviousness, these guys win the prize. He can become so preoccupied with the task at hand that he is unmindful that he is mooning us.Psychologists might tell us that he is, in fact, aware, that this act of exhibitionism has a purpose only his inner geezer knows. Summer evenings, he might scratch his head in wonderment and surprise when he discovers that his hinder is sunburned and riddled with mosquito bites. This scenario will repeat itself in winter when he realizes he has suffered freezer burn on his backside. One guy’s wife told me she was going to pay for a tattoo on one of her geezer’s cheeks that said, “What ya lookin’ at?”

This easy-going species is not fussy about cuisine or couture, or whether you shave your legs. G. buns-R-us can be the easiest and most entertaining, whimsical, kind and generous of all mates.

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